The four letter word.

No, not that word you’re thinking of. Even worse. The four letter word, exam.

So the finals for Year 1 is here. I’ve just sat for my Tort paper. Wrote non stop, for three hours. No, really. Okay, maybe I stopped for a few seconds to crack the knuckles and allow blood to flow into my right palm again, but I really did write non stop for three hours.

I don’t even know why we bring our bottles of water into the exam hall. It’s not like we have time to take a sip of water anyway. I finished the three-hour paper, answering four questions; an average of four pages for each question (or even more). So that would be like what, 16 pages of Tort Law? “Hand painnnn” was the statement which ensued right after we could open our mouths to talk when the paper was collected.

Okay, I guess I was quite prepared for Tort. I did not skip any topics, and studied everything to the detail. (for the first time, yes) I did mind maps for every chapter, had all the cases at my fingertips.

But I didn’t go into the exam hall with confidence. I was fumbling over, forgetting things and in the middle of it all trying to tell myself to calm down. Why was I all over the place? It is because I wanted this paper to be graded a second class-upper. And I’m not sure if thats achievable with my lecturer being a strict marker.

In the midst of it all, I managed to bring my heart rate down to the normal speed when I was applying the cases to the question. So I finished every question, in time, a minute before we were told to put our pens down. I felt confident, contented and glad I could do it.

Until, and until we started talking about the question. And I realised I forgot to put in the one or two cases and authority.

I wanted to jump down from the building.

You know, I’d probably remember those cases and legislation for life. Just like during my criminal mock when I forgot the names of the cases R v Savage and R v Instan, I had beaten up myself and still remember the cases now.

Feck, and I thought I had the chance of getting a 2:1. The suckiest part is that I’ve worked my arse off for Tort. And a little part of me kinda wished I skipped some chapters and topics so my brain would have more free space in remembering those authorities I’ve missed out. Sometimes being too hardworking isn’t a good thing you see. Luck plays a part too.

Now I’ve sat and reflected how much I’ve given and sacrificed for my law degree. And it scares me.

– My idea of taking a break is going to the washroom.

– After a gruesome three-hour Tort Law paper, my way of celebrating is having Neslo Ais at the mamak.

– I’ve been missing out precious time with my best friends.

– My idea of taking my mind off things is watching the local news, Oprah, or practising for my piano exam.

– I sometimes have lunch at 5 pm and no dinner.

– I have two meals a day because I simply have no time to eat.

– I eat my dinner in 5 minutes.

– After dinner and the news, I walk straight to my room to study.

– I’m sacrificing PITBULL’S 12 HOUR CONCERT to study for Contract Law. Which breaks my heart.

– After being fried from Tort Law, all I think about is GPL’s case study and the Contract Fact Pattern.

– Everyday, without fail I drive to the Lakeside campus, fight for parking and stay there sometimes till 9pm to read a bitch called Law.

Well thank God I’ve not resorted to studying in the toilet. Not yet. Gosh I hope I don’t lose my sanity that way.

(picture from Google when I Googled ‘law student’)

So yes, I will indeed beat myself up if I don’t get the scores I’m aiming for. If you’ve noticed, I rarely type about my day and what I really feel it is really called for. Hell, this comes with the defence of ‘Necessity’.

I do really want to curse, but I figured I should not give up my integrity just for a few marks lost. And heck, I think I should move on and focus in scoring for the other three papers, Contract Law, General Principles of Law and Criminal Law. I think it’s easier after I’ve bitch-fitted. Thank you, WordPress.

I promised myself, Year 2 would be different. I will step up to the game. I better step up to the game.

I hope by that time, a year from now (which I would be sitting for my Year 2 papers), I would only laugh at this blogpost. Promise I’ll do better. Much better. Promiseandcrossmyheart.

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4 Responses to “The four letter word.”

  1. never, NEVER discuss about exam questions after u’re done with it. walk away from the exam hall, put aside the question paper, forget all about it and focus on wat’s next – be it having a cup of neslo or studying for the next paper.

    i learnt that the hard way!

    all the best!

    • symphonyofmine Says:

      oh crap I over looked the fact we couldn’t discuss about our exam papers online and stuff. no worries, i’ll cut off that part.

      thanks for pointing it out!

    • Vivian K Says:

      Oh and sir, thank you so much for the advices. I will most definitely do my best.

  2. […] Which I was almost certain I would get a 2:2. The paper I worked the hardest for. The paper I bitch fitted about here. […]

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