Archive for the Chromatic. Category

I’m depressed.

Posted in Chromatic. with tags on June 8, 2010 by Vivian K

Here’s why.

Here’s the link via Facebook.

I’ve just logged into my email and found that I received an invite. And its 11.34pm. Yes, it’ll be on till 3-4am but its not like I can just get four girls to go out with me just like that.

I’ll just listen to club hitz on Hitz.Fm lah.

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Whatever it takes.

Posted in Chromatic. with tags on May 20, 2010 by Vivian K

Petra Nemcova: My boyfriend always told me, a day without laughter is a day wasted.

Today is indeed wasted then.

So here am I. Sitting at the same place I did two years ago thinking why is it so unfair. Wanting to go to that University of my dreams so badly. And feeling my dreams didn’t matter at all.

I remembered I crashed and burnt. Because I continued to have that attitude and negativity.

So this time, yes I may be feeling low. But no, this time I will be strong. After all, it was but just strength and sheer belief in myself that got me this far.

I remember it was just last year when my law lecturer in A Levels (and all the other subject lecturers) gave up on me. But it was the law lecturer that was a hard slap on my face. You see, I wasn’t a very hardworking or brilliant student. So I wrote essays which were mediocre. She failed every one of them. Every single one. And on one of the essays, she wrote “You just can’t write an essay” bright and bold in her red ink pen. So yes, if that wasn’t enough, she told me to see her. And I did, after class where she defamed let out a big sigh (in front of my friends), and I could from her eyes that she had truly given up on me.

Tough, but I took every hurt feeling I had and ripped it out of my heart. So if I did believe her, if I also gave up on myself like the lecturers did, I wonder where will I be today.

I am indeed thankful I am not repeating the same mistakes I did last time. Its amazing how sheer belief and strength can bring you to greater heights. And also guidance, lots of guidance from God and the people he brings into my life. And thank you for music.

Music has always been and always will be my greatest escape.

I was feeling rather down until I heard Leona Lewis’ Whatever It Takes.

Wherever it is, I’ll fly
Whatever it takes, I’ll try
So don’t pay no mind
To what other people say
Whenever it is in my life
Know that I will be on time
‘Cause you know why
There’s no standing in our way

Don’t we all need some music to uplift our spirits sometimes?

The four letter word.

Posted in Chord progressions., Chromatic. with tags , , , , on May 13, 2010 by Vivian K

No, not that word you’re thinking of. Even worse. The four letter word, exam.

So the finals for Year 1 is here. I’ve just sat for my Tort paper. Wrote non stop, for three hours. No, really. Okay, maybe I stopped for a few seconds to crack the knuckles and allow blood to flow into my right palm again, but I really did write non stop for three hours.

I don’t even know why we bring our bottles of water into the exam hall. It’s not like we have time to take a sip of water anyway. I finished the three-hour paper, answering four questions; an average of four pages for each question (or even more). So that would be like what, 16 pages of Tort Law? “Hand painnnn” was the statement which ensued right after we could open our mouths to talk when the paper was collected.

Okay, I guess I was quite prepared for Tort. I did not skip any topics, and studied everything to the detail. (for the first time, yes) I did mind maps for every chapter, had all the cases at my fingertips.

But I didn’t go into the exam hall with confidence. I was fumbling over, forgetting things and in the middle of it all trying to tell myself to calm down. Why was I all over the place? It is because I wanted this paper to be graded a second class-upper. And I’m not sure if thats achievable with my lecturer being a strict marker.

In the midst of it all, I managed to bring my heart rate down to the normal speed when I was applying the cases to the question. So I finished every question, in time, a minute before we were told to put our pens down. I felt confident, contented and glad I could do it.

Until, and until we started talking about the question. And I realised I forgot to put in the one or two cases and authority.

I wanted to jump down from the building.

You know, I’d probably remember those cases and legislation for life. Just like during my criminal mock when I forgot the names of the cases R v Savage and R v Instan, I had beaten up myself and still remember the cases now.

Feck, and I thought I had the chance of getting a 2:1. The suckiest part is that I’ve worked my arse off for Tort. And a little part of me kinda wished I skipped some chapters and topics so my brain would have more free space in remembering those authorities I’ve missed out. Sometimes being too hardworking isn’t a good thing you see. Luck plays a part too.

Now I’ve sat and reflected how much I’ve given and sacrificed for my law degree. And it scares me.

– My idea of taking a break is going to the washroom.

– After a gruesome three-hour Tort Law paper, my way of celebrating is having Neslo Ais at the mamak.

– I’ve been missing out precious time with my best friends.

– My idea of taking my mind off things is watching the local news, Oprah, or practising for my piano exam.

– I sometimes have lunch at 5 pm and no dinner.

– I have two meals a day because I simply have no time to eat.

– I eat my dinner in 5 minutes.

– After dinner and the news, I walk straight to my room to study.

– I’m sacrificing PITBULL’S 12 HOUR CONCERT to study for Contract Law. Which breaks my heart.

– After being fried from Tort Law, all I think about is GPL’s case study and the Contract Fact Pattern.

– Everyday, without fail I drive to the Lakeside campus, fight for parking and stay there sometimes till 9pm to read a bitch called Law.

Well thank God I’ve not resorted to studying in the toilet. Not yet. Gosh I hope I don’t lose my sanity that way.

(picture from Google when I Googled ‘law student’)

So yes, I will indeed beat myself up if I don’t get the scores I’m aiming for. If you’ve noticed, I rarely type about my day and what I really feel it is really called for. Hell, this comes with the defence of ‘Necessity’.

I do really want to curse, but I figured I should not give up my integrity just for a few marks lost. And heck, I think I should move on and focus in scoring for the other three papers, Contract Law, General Principles of Law and Criminal Law. I think it’s easier after I’ve bitch-fitted. Thank you, WordPress.

I promised myself, Year 2 would be different. I will step up to the game. I better step up to the game.

I hope by that time, a year from now (which I would be sitting for my Year 2 papers), I would only laugh at this blogpost. Promise I’ll do better. Much better. Promiseandcrossmyheart.

The prayer.

Posted in Chromatic. with tags , on February 28, 2010 by Vivian K

I knew it. I could always count on my parents.

That prayer for me meant the world.

Stamina.

Posted in Chromatic. with tags , on February 19, 2010 by Vivian K

stam·i·na. [stam-uh-nuh]

–noun

strength of physical constitution; power to endure disease, fatigue, privation, etc.                                            (courtesy of Dictionary.com)

Yay I finally found the precise word for it. You know. It being essential for staying afloat. Keeping the head above water, in law school.
Its stamina. Mental stamina.

Happy Chinese New Year, world.

Posted in Chromatic. with tags , , , , on February 13, 2010 by Vivian K

So after hugging Jo Lynn off, as she will be furthering her studies in Monash Clayton, in Melbourne Australiaa handmade card, a little tears and love, and many words of blessings were exchanged. As I watched her from my rear view mirror as I was driving off, I couldn’t help but feel I’ll be missing an amazing friend.

She was always there for me, you see. Simple as that.

I returned home and got my dog, Ruby ready for boarding during the Chinese New Year holidays when I’ll be away. With a heavy heart I hugged parted with her as I left her in the pet shop.

Later in the evening me and my family headed to the airport (thank God not for more separations but an arrival. Had enough partings for the day) to pick my aunt that flew in from the UK. =D

And she bought me chocolates, a red top, a red and a grey skirt.

So yes, I was running up the stairs to try them on, and.

And I slammed my toe on the stairs. Yes, it bled. Alot. My aunt had some antiseptics and insisted I put some and wrapped my toe up.That means no more heels and pedicures for awhile. D=

Oh well, but I love my new clothes from England. (like they always say look on the brighter side)

Happy Chinese New Year and Valentine’s Day (or Singles Awareness Day), world!

Speaking of which, Chinese New Year wouldn’t be the same if I’m not allowed to eat rubbish because of the cough that hasn’t gone away yet. :C

I have to get well before it is my turn to moot. Gah. Yes, I’ll be immersing myself in the many judgments printed from Lexis for my moot during Chinese New Year. How awesome is that.

I know this all is very random. But let me whine abit lah.

Into the night.

Posted in Chromatic. with tags on February 10, 2010 by Vivian K

Butterflies. Sweet. No, bitter. Bittersweet.

Now tell me, what precisely, am I doing here, into the night, thinking of you?

This has got to stop. Now. Period.

I’ve not gotten this far with all this nonsense. Love Infatuations should, and will not, ever get in the way of my dreams.

Many other more important things to look to in life, than giving in to feelings.

No, this can’t be happening. I can’t be loosing the grip.

Reset button? Oh right, we were not created with one.

But why?