I randomly popped my earphones into my ears this evening and this was one of the songs I decided to listen to. Strangely, I felt this small voice speaking to my heart.
If you’ve been following my posts on this blog, you’d know I am only honest in my writings because I believe that in every imperfection discovered, coupled with the desire to be more like Jesus, there is beauty that has the potential to inspire. So, here goes:
You see, I am a person that is committed to what I aim to achieve in life. Often, it has always been the ‘tunnel vision’ approach for me – that mentality where nothing stops me if I aim to pursue a certain goal. Sure, it gets me somewhere in respect to my achievements.
But as a result, I have begun to realize I have become a little more selfish in life. Let me explain.
Rushing to class, I tend to walk past the needy without a second thought. Without even remembering I am to be a salt and light unto these people. The Bible says in Luke 11:33 “No one lights a lamp and puts it in a place where it will be hidden, or under a bowl. Instead he puts it on its stand, so that those who come in may see the light.”
I often proclaim I am living for God – and mean it of course. Sing worship songs that exclaim about His love upon my life and pray for Him to use me where I am placed. I go to church and show that I love the Lord, but all within my comfort zone, underneath a bowl. I talk about my spirituality only to Christian friends for fear that those who do not believe will be put off. But what good is it when it is all comfortable, but I am not truly a living testimony, demonstrating His great love for me to those who actually need it most?
I remember walking past the blind and poor, the laborers, hawkers, prostitutes. All in the name of getting to class on time. You see, my college is situated in the heart of the city where there are people who, without a doubt, need the Lord.
How blind and insensitive I have become towards the needs of people around me, those closest to God’s aching heart. So caught up in doing well in school and make it as a lawyer. We often focus on agendas of our own, which in turn blocks out the agenda of the Highest One, subtly disallowing Him to live through you and me.
If you know my story, you’d know I wrestled with God when He told me to come back to Malaysia to enroll for the Certificate of Legal Practice. I wanted to stay in England to pursue the UK Bar Professional Training Course. I was upset and I didn’t understand why God would discount me of that dream I always had. Now I can see His purpose slowly unfolding, revealing to me why. I am placed here for a reason. And one of the reasons is to shed the scales on my eyes and see the world through His eyes.
Psalms 139:23-24 Search me, God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.
I was really challenged after watching this video. I pray it will do the same for you:
If Jesus fully emptied himself for you, what’s keeping you from emptying yourself for others? – Jefferson Bethke