Archive for Dreams.

You satisfy my soul.

Posted in First Movements., In a major key. with tags , , , , , , , , on September 26, 2013 by Vivian K

You satisfy my soul

You satisfy my soul 

You satisfy my soul

With Your love

You make my heart sing

You lift me on eagle wings

Just when I thought my heart, it would faint

You take the darkest night

And You turn it to shining light

Just when I thought the night had won

Hallelujah, You make all things beautiful

Hallelujah, trials and testing prove there’s gold

Hallelujah, You turn mourning into joy

Victor.

Posted in First Movements., In a major key., Sonatinas. with tags , , , , on September 20, 2013 by Vivian K

James 1:2-4 Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.

Romans 5:1-5 Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand. And we boast in the hope of the glory of God. Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us.

Oh Lord, indeed You are faithful by speaking truth into my life through Your Word. Indeed the Scriptures are a light unto my fumbling feet, and lamp unto my uncertain paths. How gratefully amazed I am, seeing Your mighty hand upon my life and glaring faithfulness in the midst of a hurricane.

Oh Lord indeed You will and have never forsaken me. You remained faithful even when I was not.

Oh Lord if You have persevered to the Cross for me, what should stop me from persevering to the ends for Your glory to be revealed on earth?

Protected: Void.

Posted in Czerny., In a minor key. with tags , , , , , , on December 25, 2012 by Vivian K

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Blind.

Posted in Chord progressions. with tags , , , , , , , , , , on December 15, 2012 by Vivian K

I randomly popped my earphones into my ears this evening and this was one of the songs I decided to listen to. Strangely, I felt this small voice speaking to my heart.

If you’ve been following my posts on this blog, you’d know I am only honest in my writings because I believe that in every imperfection discovered, coupled with the desire to be more like Jesus, there is beauty that has the potential to inspire. So, here goes:

You see, I am a person that is committed to what I aim to achieve in life. Often, it has always been the ‘tunnel vision’ approach for me – that mentality where nothing stops me if I aim to pursue a certain goal. Sure, it gets me somewhere in respect to my achievements.

But as a result, I have begun to realize I have become a little more selfish in life. Let me explain.

Rushing to class, I tend to walk past the needy without a second thought. Without even remembering I am to be a salt and light unto these people. The Bible says in Luke 11:33 “No one lights a lamp and puts it in a place where it will be hidden, or under a bowl. Instead he puts it on its stand, so that those who come in may see the light.”

I often proclaim I am living for God – and mean it of course. Sing worship songs that exclaim about His love upon my life and pray for Him to use me where I am placed. I go to church and show that I love the Lord, but all within my comfort zone, underneath a bowl. I talk about my spirituality only to Christian friends for fear that those who do not believe will be put off. But what good is it when it is all comfortable, but I am not truly a living testimony, demonstrating His great love for me to those who actually need it most?

I remember walking past the blind and poor, the laborers, hawkers, prostitutes. All in the name of getting to class on time. You see, my college is situated in the heart of the city where there are people who, without a doubt, need the Lord.

How blind and insensitive I have become towards the needs of people around me, those closest to God’s aching heart. So caught up in doing well in school and make it as a lawyer. We often focus on agendas of our own, which in turn blocks out the agenda of the Highest One, subtly disallowing Him to live through you and me.

If you know my story, you’d know I wrestled with God when He told me to come back to Malaysia to enroll for the Certificate of Legal Practice. I wanted to stay in England to pursue the UK Bar Professional Training Course. I was upset and I didn’t understand why God would discount me of that dream I always had. Now I can see His purpose slowly unfolding, revealing to me why. I am placed here for a reason. And one of the reasons is to shed the scales on my eyes and see the world through His eyes.

Psalms 139:23-24 Search me, God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.

I was really challenged after watching this video. I pray it will do the same for you:

If Jesus fully emptied himself for you, what’s keeping you from emptying yourself for others? – Jefferson Bethke

6.59 am.

Posted in In a major key., Staccato. with tags , , , , , on October 21, 2012 by Vivian K

 

Check out Shane Koyczan’s website here.

The Book of Job.

Posted in Chord progressions. with tags , , , , , , , , on October 14, 2012 by Vivian K

I have finally completed reading this amazing book. I started out reading this Book, truthfully because I was disappointed (yes, dare I say) in God.

There was a time not too long before, when I was deeply in love with God and had consciously chosen to walk the righteous path. To seek His face in everything, to glorify Him in everything I do. I had put my trust in God to hold my world. But somehow things began to turn against what I had hoped for. I didn’t see the fruits, the results. I felt I was thrown into a deep dark place I didn’t even know I was walking into. The more I trusted in Him, more hurricanes whirled in.

I questioned God and cried out to Him. How could things go against my favor when I had fervently pursued His heart? How could the unfaithful and ungodly triumph over me? I wanted answers. And so I started reading the Book of Job. Perhaps the life of this man would tell me what is really going on when God decides to remain silent and allow such defeat even when one is right with God.

Truthfully, I went through a period of darkness and started to realise what little faith I really had within me. I couldn’t bring myself to trust Him again. I couldn’t pick myself up. My stubborn cold heart refused to draw strength from Him. I turned my face away from my Creator. And I relied on my own strength. I sank further into the mess I was in. It was like being stuck in a pit of sinking sand. The more I relied on my own strength and struggled, the further I sank. I knew I needed someone to pull me out. I needed Him. But yet, I refused to call on Him.

It was when I hit rock bottom, I realised it was the only way. He was the only way.

And so I cried out to my Savior and He threw me the rope. I slowly crawled back. The inches I progressed back Home was tough, but made all the difference.

And so I realised after spending time reading His word in this Book, sometimes God removes the things from us to test where our faith lies. Does our faith rest in the things we possess (eg: money, possessions, qualifications)? What do you put your trust in? What defines you?

You see, for me, it was my qualifications, my education, my dreams. I felt God had turned His face from me and disregarded the trust I had in Him by not granting what I had hoped for. I felt He allowed my world to crumble in His hands. I was devastated, broken and lost.

Little did I know, He was slowly but painfully revealing to me that I really had such little trust in the One I proclaim to love the most. He was showing me how tightly I held on to these securities in life when I was supposed to hold on to Him. He was showing me that I had to die to my own dreams simply because He had better dreams for me.

Job 31:24-28

New International Version (NIV)

24 “If I have put my trust in gold
    or said to pure gold, ‘You are my security,’
25 if I have rejoiced over my great wealth,
    the fortune my hands had gained,
26 if I have regarded the sun in its radiance
    or the moon moving in splendor,
27 so that my heart was secretly enticed
    and my hand offered them a kiss of homage,
28 then these also would be sins to be judged,
    for I would have been unfaithful to God on high.

And so, knowing all these; that my faith is paper-thin, that I need to continue trusting in Him even when I do not see His hand, I am crawling back to Him. I am not there yet.

Though I have not much to offer Him, not near what He deserves; still I come because the Cross has placed in me my worth.

I am coming Home, Lord. Thank you for waiting for me by the door like You always do.

Phillippians 1:6

Posted in Chord progressions., In a major key. with tags , , , , , , , , , on July 1, 2012 by Vivian K

… being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.”

This was the word for me from my pastor as I walked through the departure gates for London, United Kingdom to pursue my final year of law degree.

Now that I am graduating (in three days) and heading home, I have somewhat understood the word spoken onto my life as I left my country.

Life in the UK has been such a rich experience. I was tremendously blessed to be able to study abroad, even for a very short period of time.

I traveled much, seen more of the world, been inspired and aimed to inspire.

I have truly understood the value of money. The value of hard earned money.

I have known what it meant to die to my own dreams, to make way for His dreams for me.

I have deeply understood that God is good. Full-stop. No circumstances thrown at me will change the fact that He is good, and that He is love.

I have truly known in my heart that if I am truly recognizing my Lord, I have no business being concerned about how and where He engineers my circumstances (taken from http://utmost.org/keep-recognizing-jesus/)

I have learnt how victory and success may not be what it seems if saw from the eyes of the world. Just like how Jesus died on the cross that Friday. In the eyes of the world, it seemed like it was defeat. As though all His work and ministry had come to an end. On the contrary, the world saw God’s sovereign plan for His death and future for the world on the third day when He rose again.

I have learnt to put relationships first. Everything else is secondary.

I have learnt not to distinguish different ages of people or make a mental categorization on them. I have learnt to treat children, the old, the teenagers, the adults and my peers all the same. With love and respect.

Being in a cold country, I have also learnt how to appreciate the little things in life. A warm cup of Milo, warm showers, warm hugs, and sun rays upon my skin.

Going back home, I may be excited to see old faces, indulge in great food, immerse myself in the sunlight. But let my soul not forget that I am going back home because I have been called to go home. My calling is in Malaysia. And there is where I shall serve the Lord in whatever I do. Be it as a postgraduate student, a lawyer in the future, a wife, a mother, a daughter, a friend, a ministry worker, a worship singer, a teacher, a politician.

I will serve as the Lord commands.

If you would ask me if God’s work in me has been completed, I will tell you, no. I have a long way to go. So much more can be improved. I am still learning and I have much to learn. I will be a work in progress, until the day of Christ Jesus.

Till then, hello Malaysia. I’m coming back.