Archive for Friends.

Phillippians 1:6

Posted in Chord progressions., In a major key. with tags , , , , , , , , , on July 1, 2012 by Vivian K

… being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.”

This was the word for me from my pastor as I walked through the departure gates for London, United Kingdom to pursue my final year of law degree.

Now that I am graduating (in three days) and heading home, I have somewhat understood the word spoken onto my life as I left my country.

Life in the UK has been such a rich experience. I was tremendously blessed to be able to study abroad, even for a very short period of time.

I traveled much, seen more of the world, been inspired and aimed to inspire.

I have truly understood the value of money. The value of hard earned money.

I have known what it meant to die to my own dreams, to make way for His dreams for me.

I have deeply understood that God is good. Full-stop. No circumstances thrown at me will change the fact that He is good, and that He is love.

I have truly known in my heart that if I am truly recognizing my Lord, I have no business being concerned about how and where He engineers my circumstances (taken from

I have learnt how victory and success may not be what it seems if saw from the eyes of the world. Just like how Jesus died on the cross that Friday. In the eyes of the world, it seemed like it was defeat. As though all His work and ministry had come to an end. On the contrary, the world saw God’s sovereign plan for His death and future for the world on the third day when He rose again.

I have learnt to put relationships first. Everything else is secondary.

I have learnt not to distinguish different ages of people or make a mental categorization on them. I have learnt to treat children, the old, the teenagers, the adults and my peers all the same. With love and respect.

Being in a cold country, I have also learnt how to appreciate the little things in life. A warm cup of Milo, warm showers, warm hugs, and sun rays upon my skin.

Going back home, I may be excited to see old faces, indulge in great food, immerse myself in the sunlight. But let my soul not forget that I am going back home because I have been called to go home. My calling is in Malaysia. And there is where I shall serve the Lord in whatever I do. Be it as a postgraduate student, a lawyer in the future, a wife, a mother, a daughter, a friend, a ministry worker, a worship singer, a teacher, a politician.

I will serve as the Lord commands.

If you would ask me if God’s work in me has been completed, I will tell you, no. I have a long way to go. So much more can be improved. I am still learning and I have much to learn. I will be a work in progress, until the day of Christ Jesus.

Till then, hello Malaysia. I’m coming back.


A work in progress.

Posted in In a major key. with tags , , , , on May 29, 2012 by Vivian K

“The purpose of life is not to win. The purpose of life is to grow and to share. When you come to look back on all that you have done in life, you will get more satisfaction from the pleasure you have brought into other people’s lives than you will from the times that you outdid and defeated them.”

– Harold Kushner

Psalms 139:24

Posted in In a minor key., Scales. with tags , , , , , on April 26, 2012 by Vivian K

James 1:19-20 19 My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, 20 because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires.

Proverbs 12:18 Reckless words pierce like a sword, but the tongue of the wise brings healing.

The bible is right. Anger be destructive. The tongue can be powerful.

The many times you have offended and hurt me, I did not retaliate. But patience has its bounds. Yet I try, I still do. Even when I’m at my lowest. Even when you give me the impression you want nothing more than being an acquaintance. Not even a friend. That is your decision.

Do not mistake my silence for ignorance,

my calmness for acceptance,

and my kindness for weakness.

Because there were many opportunities you dangled before me where I could have been really honest about your attitude with you. But I choose not to say or do anything in return because I refuse to be shallow and childish. I refuse to drag myself down in anger by expressing it. I refuse to retaliate and be murderous with my words because I know that will hurt you. Above all, after sobbing my disappointments away, I chose to put aside all the ill feelings and do exactly the opposite instead. I have chosen to love you instead.

Trust me, I can see past all your smiles and small talk and see you are hurting inside. I can see that you are insecurities through your eyes. But why? I do not understand. You are a child of God. You are so precious. Why look to the world and the things of the world for recognition?

You may not see the internal battles and inner struggles I put myself through to love you. And I say this with all sincerity and humility. I do not boast in myself, but I boast in the Lord. I boast about how He has brought me through.

Loving someone that isn’t really your favourite person in the world can be tough. But I choose to. Not an obligation. It is a choice. I will continue to be kind towards you. Because of His love that has been engraved in my heart. Because I have understood the true meaning of God’s love and how real it is in my life. I go down on my knees and plead to God for abounding grace, patience and perseverance to love you. I have always been praying for you. I don’t want to give up. Because God hasn’t given up on you. Simple as that.

I have been through much. God has placed difficult people in my life and how He has shown so much grace and mercy upon them. And upon a sinner like me. I cannot help but turn towards that direction. But I am not perfect yet. I still fail at the department of loving difficult people. That God wants to deal with me, through you.

I can be very human sometimes. So forgive me if I have been offensive. But know that I am trying and it is not easy. But my decision remains. I have chosen to love you.

Ps. Hey readers, if you’ve noticed, I don’t usually blog about negative feelings because there was a point of time in my life where I decided to do things that are attached to a purpose. Why bitch fit like loud clanging cymbals. Why allow the devil to feed into my thoughts? So every blog entry has not been intended for myself, but for you. To inspire you in the little ways I can. To encourage you in the Lord. But today, I have realised that the negative that I go through can serve as a source of encouragement too. We all face giants in our lives. We might be small and unsure about how God can use someone ordinary like us. But let us rise up. You may not be able. But He is able. And if a sinner like me can choose to love, surely you can too.

1 Corinthians 13:1 If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal.

Psalms 139:24 See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.

When God ran.

Posted in Hanons. with tags , , , , , on April 7, 2012 by Vivian K

We’re so undeserving of His amazing and unconditional love.

And my prayer this Easter is that the people around me will come to know this love for them as well.

It is not the choices you make, but the choice He made to die on the cross for you; that defines who you are. You are a child of God.

1 Cor 13;13 And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.

The chaotic BPTC applications.

Posted in Chord progressions., In a major key. with tags , , , , , , , on January 14, 2012 by Vivian K

For those who have just stumbled across my blog, let me give you a little background first. I am a final year law student graudating in July. So many would ask. I would to. – What’s next?

Hence the blog post “Uncertain”.

You see, I was told I couldn’t afford to further my studies in the UK for another year and I was to go graduate and go home to do the Certificate in Legal Practice (CLP) – in other words, the Malaysian Bar Course.

Nothing wrong with that. But my dream was always to study the Bar Professional Training Course (BPTC) in the UK. Learn and train here before I go back.

Applications are to be made from the period of November to January 12. And so I swept it under the carpet, because I didn’t know if I could apply or not. Besides, the possibility for me to study the BPTC was slim. I had to think twice about paying £40 for the application fee.

So, approximately 5 days before the deadline, I called my parents and asked if I could do the BPTC course. They said I should go ahead and apply first but chances are slim that they could afford another year for me in the UK.

I was absolutely crushed. I felt like my dreams just went down the gutter. I was disappointed. But then, I came to the point that I told God, this is not my life. My life belongs to him. So whatever he wants me to do, I will do it. I was reminded of our promise as disciples of God, to lay down our lives and follow Him.

Matthew 16:24 Then Jesus said to his disciples, “If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross and follow me.

So I told myself to be contented with what I was given by God. To go back to Malaysia for the CLP.

Then I called my dad up and told him I would not be applying. And sent my mom an email saying the same.

My mom then replied the next day prompting me to apply. I was taken aback. I had only two days to complete 11 essays. How would I be able to pull off a good application?

I prayed about it and looked to God. Then things started falling into place, and even friends started pointing me to that direction. I knew it was God’s guidance.

And so I sat there and typed. And no, I didn’t deprive myself of sleep, or food. I didn’t have a panic attack. No, I was totally calm and could feel the peace of God in me.

Then, on the 12th January at 2am, when I was about done and just polishing my essays, the Bar Standards Board application website indicated that applications are now closed.

My heart sank. The website really did state the closing time was 2pm. A few of my friends too were on the same boat as me. They all have not submitted their application. Then I thought, my work on the 11 essays, just gone to waste?

But strangely, I still felt the peace of God within me. I set aside everything I was doing to have my time alone with God.

I asked why.

Then I stopped. And realised, who was I to demand for such things? It is God alone who gives and takes away. If it was something God would want for me, I would have it.

I knew the Lord was putting my faith to the test. And so I held on tightly to Him and trusted that if this wasn’t for me, He had a much better plan. Through everything, I really did feel I was carried and sheltered by a strength mightier than my own.

I chose to be obedient and I prayed.

“Lord if it is your will, You will make a way. I choose to trust in You with all my heart”.

Romans 8:28 And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.

Philippians 3: 7 -11 ‘But whatever was to my profit I now consider loss for the sake of Christ. What is more, I consider everything a loss compared to the surpassing greatness of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost ALL THINGS. I consider then RUBBISH, that I may gain Christ and be focused in Him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which is through faith in Christ-the righteousness that comes from God and is by faith. I want to know Christ and the power of sharing in his sufferings, becoming like Him in His death, and so, somehow, to attain to the resurrection from the dead.

Then, I rested in the Lord (because it was already 6am). I then woke up few hours later, and found that the application had opened again. God did make a way.

And I am glad I trusted in Him instead of just being disappointed as if God had failed me.

And so I did my final polishing up on the essays, paid and submitted my application.

So here I am, a hopeful barrister (one day) according to His leading, according to His will.

Proverbs 3:5-6 Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him and he will make your paths straight.

This year started off great. 2012 is dedicated to the Lord and His will for me. I will trust and be obedient to His calling.

I hope my story encourages you to learn how to put your trust in Him when things seem uncertain.

It may seem like a saying that has been said one too many times. But it is true.

Only God knows what’s best for you. And He has it all planned and figured out already.

And what we only need is faith.

:1 Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see.

Hebrews 11:6 And without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to him must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who earnestly seek him.

A documentary.

Posted in In a major key. with tags , , , on November 24, 2011 by Vivian K

taken by Daniel Soon.

taken by Joel Ryan Lee

And after 60 years, I’ll watch this and still remember how I felt when I saw your face.

Birthday rap

by Hitz.Fm

Peer pressure is mental slavery.

Posted in Chord progressions., In a major key. with tags , , , , , , on October 29, 2011 by Vivian K

“At any given point you can release your greatest self. Don’t let anyone hold you back. Don’t let anyone dilute you. Don’t be peer pressured into being less than you are. People willing to dilute themselves for the sake of others is one of the great tragedies of our time. Stop letting others define and set the pace for your life. Get out there and be your best. Do your best. Live your best. Make every day count and you’ll see how exponentially more exciting, thrilling, successful, happy and full your life will be.”
― Steve Maraboli

“The surest way to corrupt a youth is to instruct him to hold in higher esteem those who think alike than those who think differently.”
― Friedrich Nietzsche

I’ve always wanted to study abroad for the experience. And I figured, my parents didn’t throw in that kind of money for me just to come back unchanged. I’ve become just a little more fearless in life, to new experiences and meeting new people. I want to make the most of my year here in UK because it only comes once.

So sue me for wanting to experience life, grow and learn.