Archive for Life.

Victor.

Posted in First Movements., In a major key., Sonatinas. with tags , , , , on September 20, 2013 by Vivian K

James 1:2-4 Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.

Romans 5:1-5 Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand. And we boast in the hope of the glory of God. Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us.

Oh Lord, indeed You are faithful by speaking truth into my life through Your Word. Indeed the Scriptures are a light unto my fumbling feet, and lamp unto my uncertain paths. How gratefully amazed I am, seeing Your mighty hand upon my life and glaring faithfulness in the midst of a hurricane.

Oh Lord indeed You will and have never forsaken me. You remained faithful even when I was not.

Oh Lord if You have persevered to the Cross for me, what should stop me from persevering to the ends for Your glory to be revealed on earth?

Do Not Lose Heart.

Posted in Chord progressions., In a major key. with tags , , on August 8, 2013 by Vivian K

Reblogged from pktfuel.com (3rd Aug 2013)

Therefore we do not lose heart. Even though our outward man is perishing, yet the inward man is being renewed day by day. (2 Corinthians 4:16)

It can be tempting to think that the defining moments of our lives happen on stages, in front of camera’s, in our best outfit, when people are paying attention – heroic moments, important speeches, poetic words, generous deeds – done for all the world to see and give us an acceptance check. But the defining moments of our hearts and spirits happen in much darker quieter spaces and times, often when no one is watching – no one is applauding. And its not the moment you win the battle… its not the moment of glory or victory that defines you. Its the moments you fall down but get back up, its the moments you crack but allow his grace to shine through, its the scary terrifying times where you let his peace reign in your heart, when failure kicks you down but his unending enduring love compels you to get back up again – weak but strong, sinner yet saved, lost now found. The defining moments happen behind closed doors, in prayer closets, on knees, in worship, alone and contrite… The challenge is to embrace it, Don’t loose heart. Allow the Holy Spirit to work his deep healing and destiny infusing work within you. I know that my life will not be defined by one glorifying history making moment… it is defined long before I do anything seemingly ‘important’, in the challenging, failure riddled, opportunity beckoning moments in the unseen… What happens there is far more valuable than glory or fame can ever be. So don’t lose heart. Even though your outward man is perishing… lean in, trust in Jesus – your inward man is being renewed day by day… and a new day will come.

The Mission.

Posted in In a major key., Sonatinas. with tags , , , , on July 16, 2013 by Vivian K

The following are excerpts from John Piper’s Desiring God, Meditations of a Christian Hedonist:

“He is no fool who gives what he cannot keep to gain what he cannot loose.” – Elizabeth Elliot, Shadow of the Almighty; The Life and Testament of Jim Elliot.

“Most men are not satisfied with the permanent output of their lives. Nothing can wholly satisfy the life of Christ within his followers except the adoption of Christ’s purpose toward the world he came to redeem. Fame, pleasure and riches are but husks and ashes in contrast with the boundless and abiding joy of working with God for the fulfillment of his eternal plans. The men who are putting everything into Christ’s undertaking are getting out of life its sweetest and most priceless rewards.” – J. Campbell White, Secretary of the Laymen’s Missionary Movement.

On December 4, 1857, David Livingstone, the great pioneer missionary to Africa, made a stirring appeal to the students of Cambridge University, showing that he had learned through experience what Jesus tried to teach Peter:

“For my own part, I have never ceased to rejoice that God has appointed me to such an office. People talk of the sacrifice I have made spending so much of my life in Africa. Can that be called a sacrifice which is simply paid back as a small part of a great debt owing to our God, which we can never repay? Is that sacrifice which brings its own blest reward in healthful activity, the consciousness of doing good, peace of mind, and a bright hope of a glorious destiny hereafter? Away with the word in such  view, and with such a thought! It is emphatically no sacrifice. Say rather it is a privilege. Anxiety, sickness, suffering or danger, now and then, with a foregoing of the common conveniences and charities of this life, may make us pause, and cause the spirit to waver, and the soul to sink; but let this only be for a moment. All these are nothing when compared with the glory which shall be revealed in and for us. I have never made a sacrifice.” – cited in Samuel Zwemer, The Glory of the Impossible; Perspectives on the World Christian Movement.

Protected: Void.

Posted in Czerny., In a minor key. with tags , , , , , , on December 25, 2012 by Vivian K

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Blind.

Posted in Chord progressions. with tags , , , , , , , , , , on December 15, 2012 by Vivian K

I randomly popped my earphones into my ears this evening and this was one of the songs I decided to listen to. Strangely, I felt this small voice speaking to my heart.

If you’ve been following my posts on this blog, you’d know I am only honest in my writings because I believe that in every imperfection discovered, coupled with the desire to be more like Jesus, there is beauty that has the potential to inspire. So, here goes:

You see, I am a person that is committed to what I aim to achieve in life. Often, it has always been the ‘tunnel vision’ approach for me – that mentality where nothing stops me if I aim to pursue a certain goal. Sure, it gets me somewhere in respect to my achievements.

But as a result, I have begun to realize I have become a little more selfish in life. Let me explain.

Rushing to class, I tend to walk past the needy without a second thought. Without even remembering I am to be a salt and light unto these people. The Bible says in Luke 11:33 “No one lights a lamp and puts it in a place where it will be hidden, or under a bowl. Instead he puts it on its stand, so that those who come in may see the light.”

I often proclaim I am living for God – and mean it of course. Sing worship songs that exclaim about His love upon my life and pray for Him to use me where I am placed. I go to church and show that I love the Lord, but all within my comfort zone, underneath a bowl. I talk about my spirituality only to Christian friends for fear that those who do not believe will be put off. But what good is it when it is all comfortable, but I am not truly a living testimony, demonstrating His great love for me to those who actually need it most?

I remember walking past the blind and poor, the laborers, hawkers, prostitutes. All in the name of getting to class on time. You see, my college is situated in the heart of the city where there are people who, without a doubt, need the Lord.

How blind and insensitive I have become towards the needs of people around me, those closest to God’s aching heart. So caught up in doing well in school and make it as a lawyer. We often focus on agendas of our own, which in turn blocks out the agenda of the Highest One, subtly disallowing Him to live through you and me.

If you know my story, you’d know I wrestled with God when He told me to come back to Malaysia to enroll for the Certificate of Legal Practice. I wanted to stay in England to pursue the UK Bar Professional Training Course. I was upset and I didn’t understand why God would discount me of that dream I always had. Now I can see His purpose slowly unfolding, revealing to me why. I am placed here for a reason. And one of the reasons is to shed the scales on my eyes and see the world through His eyes.

Psalms 139:23-24 Search me, God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.

I was really challenged after watching this video. I pray it will do the same for you:

If Jesus fully emptied himself for you, what’s keeping you from emptying yourself for others? – Jefferson Bethke

Carried for a thousand miles to show

Posted in In a major key., Sonatinas. with tags , , , , on November 29, 2012 by Vivian K

not for a moment did You forsake me.

And every step every breath You are there
Every tear every cry every prayer
In my heart at my worst
When my world falls down
Not for a moment will You forsake me
Even in the dark
Even when it’s hard
You will never leave me
After all.

After all, You are only good.

The Book of Job.

Posted in Chord progressions. with tags , , , , , , , , on October 14, 2012 by Vivian K

I have finally completed reading this amazing book. I started out reading this Book, truthfully because I was disappointed (yes, dare I say) in God.

There was a time not too long before, when I was deeply in love with God and had consciously chosen to walk the righteous path. To seek His face in everything, to glorify Him in everything I do. I had put my trust in God to hold my world. But somehow things began to turn against what I had hoped for. I didn’t see the fruits, the results. I felt I was thrown into a deep dark place I didn’t even know I was walking into. The more I trusted in Him, more hurricanes whirled in.

I questioned God and cried out to Him. How could things go against my favor when I had fervently pursued His heart? How could the unfaithful and ungodly triumph over me? I wanted answers. And so I started reading the Book of Job. Perhaps the life of this man would tell me what is really going on when God decides to remain silent and allow such defeat even when one is right with God.

Truthfully, I went through a period of darkness and started to realise what little faith I really had within me. I couldn’t bring myself to trust Him again. I couldn’t pick myself up. My stubborn cold heart refused to draw strength from Him. I turned my face away from my Creator. And I relied on my own strength. I sank further into the mess I was in. It was like being stuck in a pit of sinking sand. The more I relied on my own strength and struggled, the further I sank. I knew I needed someone to pull me out. I needed Him. But yet, I refused to call on Him.

It was when I hit rock bottom, I realised it was the only way. He was the only way.

And so I cried out to my Savior and He threw me the rope. I slowly crawled back. The inches I progressed back Home was tough, but made all the difference.

And so I realised after spending time reading His word in this Book, sometimes God removes the things from us to test where our faith lies. Does our faith rest in the things we possess (eg: money, possessions, qualifications)? What do you put your trust in? What defines you?

You see, for me, it was my qualifications, my education, my dreams. I felt God had turned His face from me and disregarded the trust I had in Him by not granting what I had hoped for. I felt He allowed my world to crumble in His hands. I was devastated, broken and lost.

Little did I know, He was slowly but painfully revealing to me that I really had such little trust in the One I proclaim to love the most. He was showing me how tightly I held on to these securities in life when I was supposed to hold on to Him. He was showing me that I had to die to my own dreams simply because He had better dreams for me.

Job 31:24-28

New International Version (NIV)

24 “If I have put my trust in gold
    or said to pure gold, ‘You are my security,’
25 if I have rejoiced over my great wealth,
    the fortune my hands had gained,
26 if I have regarded the sun in its radiance
    or the moon moving in splendor,
27 so that my heart was secretly enticed
    and my hand offered them a kiss of homage,
28 then these also would be sins to be judged,
    for I would have been unfaithful to God on high.

And so, knowing all these; that my faith is paper-thin, that I need to continue trusting in Him even when I do not see His hand, I am crawling back to Him. I am not there yet.

Though I have not much to offer Him, not near what He deserves; still I come because the Cross has placed in me my worth.

I am coming Home, Lord. Thank you for waiting for me by the door like You always do.