Archive for Making a difference.

The Mission.

Posted in In a major key., Sonatinas. with tags , , , , on July 16, 2013 by Vivian K

The following are excerpts from John Piper’s Desiring God, Meditations of a Christian Hedonist:

“He is no fool who gives what he cannot keep to gain what he cannot loose.” – Elizabeth Elliot, Shadow of the Almighty; The Life and Testament of Jim Elliot.

“Most men are not satisfied with the permanent output of their lives. Nothing can wholly satisfy the life of Christ within his followers except the adoption of Christ’s purpose toward the world he came to redeem. Fame, pleasure and riches are but husks and ashes in contrast with the boundless and abiding joy of working with God for the fulfillment of his eternal plans. The men who are putting everything into Christ’s undertaking are getting out of life its sweetest and most priceless rewards.” – J. Campbell White, Secretary of the Laymen’s Missionary Movement.

On December 4, 1857, David Livingstone, the great pioneer missionary to Africa, made a stirring appeal to the students of Cambridge University, showing that he had learned through experience what Jesus tried to teach Peter:

“For my own part, I have never ceased to rejoice that God has appointed me to such an office. People talk of the sacrifice I have made spending so much of my life in Africa. Can that be called a sacrifice which is simply paid back as a small part of a great debt owing to our God, which we can never repay? Is that sacrifice which brings its own blest reward in healthful activity, the consciousness of doing good, peace of mind, and a bright hope of a glorious destiny hereafter? Away with the word in such  view, and with such a thought! It is emphatically no sacrifice. Say rather it is a privilege. Anxiety, sickness, suffering or danger, now and then, with a foregoing of the common conveniences and charities of this life, may make us pause, and cause the spirit to waver, and the soul to sink; but let this only be for a moment. All these are nothing when compared with the glory which shall be revealed in and for us. I have never made a sacrifice.” – cited in Samuel Zwemer, The Glory of the Impossible; Perspectives on the World Christian Movement.

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Blind.

Posted in Chord progressions. with tags , , , , , , , , , , on December 15, 2012 by Vivian K

I randomly popped my earphones into my ears this evening and this was one of the songs I decided to listen to. Strangely, I felt this small voice speaking to my heart.

If you’ve been following my posts on this blog, you’d know I am only honest in my writings because I believe that in every imperfection discovered, coupled with the desire to be more like Jesus, there is beauty that has the potential to inspire. So, here goes:

You see, I am a person that is committed to what I aim to achieve in life. Often, it has always been the ‘tunnel vision’ approach for me – that mentality where nothing stops me if I aim to pursue a certain goal. Sure, it gets me somewhere in respect to my achievements.

But as a result, I have begun to realize I have become a little more selfish in life. Let me explain.

Rushing to class, I tend to walk past the needy without a second thought. Without even remembering I am to be a salt and light unto these people. The Bible says in Luke 11:33 “No one lights a lamp and puts it in a place where it will be hidden, or under a bowl. Instead he puts it on its stand, so that those who come in may see the light.”

I often proclaim I am living for God – and mean it of course. Sing worship songs that exclaim about His love upon my life and pray for Him to use me where I am placed. I go to church and show that I love the Lord, but all within my comfort zone, underneath a bowl. I talk about my spirituality only to Christian friends for fear that those who do not believe will be put off. But what good is it when it is all comfortable, but I am not truly a living testimony, demonstrating His great love for me to those who actually need it most?

I remember walking past the blind and poor, the laborers, hawkers, prostitutes. All in the name of getting to class on time. You see, my college is situated in the heart of the city where there are people who, without a doubt, need the Lord.

How blind and insensitive I have become towards the needs of people around me, those closest to God’s aching heart. So caught up in doing well in school and make it as a lawyer. We often focus on agendas of our own, which in turn blocks out the agenda of the Highest One, subtly disallowing Him to live through you and me.

If you know my story, you’d know I wrestled with God when He told me to come back to Malaysia to enroll for the Certificate of Legal Practice. I wanted to stay in England to pursue the UK Bar Professional Training Course. I was upset and I didn’t understand why God would discount me of that dream I always had. Now I can see His purpose slowly unfolding, revealing to me why. I am placed here for a reason. And one of the reasons is to shed the scales on my eyes and see the world through His eyes.

Psalms 139:23-24 Search me, God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.

I was really challenged after watching this video. I pray it will do the same for you:

If Jesus fully emptied himself for you, what’s keeping you from emptying yourself for others? – Jefferson Bethke

Phillippians 1:6

Posted in Chord progressions., In a major key. with tags , , , , , , , , , on July 1, 2012 by Vivian K

… being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.”

This was the word for me from my pastor as I walked through the departure gates for London, United Kingdom to pursue my final year of law degree.

Now that I am graduating (in three days) and heading home, I have somewhat understood the word spoken onto my life as I left my country.

Life in the UK has been such a rich experience. I was tremendously blessed to be able to study abroad, even for a very short period of time.

I traveled much, seen more of the world, been inspired and aimed to inspire.

I have truly understood the value of money. The value of hard earned money.

I have known what it meant to die to my own dreams, to make way for His dreams for me.

I have deeply understood that God is good. Full-stop. No circumstances thrown at me will change the fact that He is good, and that He is love.

I have truly known in my heart that if I am truly recognizing my Lord, I have no business being concerned about how and where He engineers my circumstances (taken from http://utmost.org/keep-recognizing-jesus/)

I have learnt how victory and success may not be what it seems if saw from the eyes of the world. Just like how Jesus died on the cross that Friday. In the eyes of the world, it seemed like it was defeat. As though all His work and ministry had come to an end. On the contrary, the world saw God’s sovereign plan for His death and future for the world on the third day when He rose again.

I have learnt to put relationships first. Everything else is secondary.

I have learnt not to distinguish different ages of people or make a mental categorization on them. I have learnt to treat children, the old, the teenagers, the adults and my peers all the same. With love and respect.

Being in a cold country, I have also learnt how to appreciate the little things in life. A warm cup of Milo, warm showers, warm hugs, and sun rays upon my skin.

Going back home, I may be excited to see old faces, indulge in great food, immerse myself in the sunlight. But let my soul not forget that I am going back home because I have been called to go home. My calling is in Malaysia. And there is where I shall serve the Lord in whatever I do. Be it as a postgraduate student, a lawyer in the future, a wife, a mother, a daughter, a friend, a ministry worker, a worship singer, a teacher, a politician.

I will serve as the Lord commands.

If you would ask me if God’s work in me has been completed, I will tell you, no. I have a long way to go. So much more can be improved. I am still learning and I have much to learn. I will be a work in progress, until the day of Christ Jesus.

Till then, hello Malaysia. I’m coming back.

May The Words of My Mouth

Posted in Arpeggios., Chord progressions. with tags , , , , on May 30, 2012 by Vivian K

My prayer.

May the words of my mouth and the thoughts of my heart
Bless Your name, bless Your name, Jesus
And the deeds of the day and the truth in my ways
Speak of You, speak of You, Jesus

For this is what I’m glad to do
It’s time to live a life of love that pleases You
And I will give my all to You
Surrender everything I have and follow You
I’ll follow You

Lord, will You be my vision, Lord, will You be my guide
Be my hope, be my light and the way
And I’ll look not for riches, nor praises on earth
Only You’ll be the first of my heart

I will follow
I will follow
I will follow You

A work in progress.

Posted in In a major key. with tags , , , , on May 29, 2012 by Vivian K

“The purpose of life is not to win. The purpose of life is to grow and to share. When you come to look back on all that you have done in life, you will get more satisfaction from the pleasure you have brought into other people’s lives than you will from the times that you outdid and defeated them.”

– Harold Kushner

To fuel my passion for human rights?

Posted in Chord progressions., First Movements., In a major key., Scales. with tags , , , , , on May 16, 2012 by Vivian K

Having a law degree gives you the key to many opportunities. The opportunities to make a difference.

Psalms 139:24

Posted in In a minor key., Scales. with tags , , , , , on April 26, 2012 by Vivian K

James 1:19-20 19 My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, 20 because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires.

Proverbs 12:18 Reckless words pierce like a sword, but the tongue of the wise brings healing.

The bible is right. Anger be destructive. The tongue can be powerful.

The many times you have offended and hurt me, I did not retaliate. But patience has its bounds. Yet I try, I still do. Even when I’m at my lowest. Even when you give me the impression you want nothing more than being an acquaintance. Not even a friend. That is your decision.

Do not mistake my silence for ignorance,

my calmness for acceptance,

and my kindness for weakness.

Because there were many opportunities you dangled before me where I could have been really honest about your attitude with you. But I choose not to say or do anything in return because I refuse to be shallow and childish. I refuse to drag myself down in anger by expressing it. I refuse to retaliate and be murderous with my words because I know that will hurt you. Above all, after sobbing my disappointments away, I chose to put aside all the ill feelings and do exactly the opposite instead. I have chosen to love you instead.

Trust me, I can see past all your smiles and small talk and see you are hurting inside. I can see that you are insecurities through your eyes. But why? I do not understand. You are a child of God. You are so precious. Why look to the world and the things of the world for recognition?

You may not see the internal battles and inner struggles I put myself through to love you. And I say this with all sincerity and humility. I do not boast in myself, but I boast in the Lord. I boast about how He has brought me through.

Loving someone that isn’t really your favourite person in the world can be tough. But I choose to. Not an obligation. It is a choice. I will continue to be kind towards you. Because of His love that has been engraved in my heart. Because I have understood the true meaning of God’s love and how real it is in my life. I go down on my knees and plead to God for abounding grace, patience and perseverance to love you. I have always been praying for you. I don’t want to give up. Because God hasn’t given up on you. Simple as that.

I have been through much. God has placed difficult people in my life and how He has shown so much grace and mercy upon them. And upon a sinner like me. I cannot help but turn towards that direction. But I am not perfect yet. I still fail at the department of loving difficult people. That God wants to deal with me, through you.

I can be very human sometimes. So forgive me if I have been offensive. But know that I am trying and it is not easy. But my decision remains. I have chosen to love you.

Ps. Hey readers, if you’ve noticed, I don’t usually blog about negative feelings because there was a point of time in my life where I decided to do things that are attached to a purpose. Why bitch fit like loud clanging cymbals. Why allow the devil to feed into my thoughts? So every blog entry has not been intended for myself, but for you. To inspire you in the little ways I can. To encourage you in the Lord. But today, I have realised that the negative that I go through can serve as a source of encouragement too. We all face giants in our lives. We might be small and unsure about how God can use someone ordinary like us. But let us rise up. You may not be able. But He is able. And if a sinner like me can choose to love, surely you can too.

1 Corinthians 13:1 If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal.

Psalms 139:24 See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.